bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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