Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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