They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
