At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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