Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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