Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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