so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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