i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
