Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
