i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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