Your face is a jimmy john
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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