my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
