Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
