Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
This is my gift to your gina
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
