Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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