i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
