Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
