I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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