Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Drake has all the answers
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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