Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
