Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
