She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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