I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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