Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
