I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize