It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
