Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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