They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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