I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
