We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
