She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
