Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
