I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
