Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
