Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
