I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i now understand why vodka
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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