Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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