imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
