So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
