I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
