You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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