i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
