we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
