Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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