I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
