problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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