we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
