She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
