You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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