the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
