My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
this hospital has no fireball
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
