More tranny stories later!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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