i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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