i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
