Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
