I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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