Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
