No awkward lesbian experiences without me
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
