you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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