My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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