And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
