What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
