Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize